


The Prince And The Pauper (feat. Queen Siv)

by Jamz24



Category: SKAM (TV), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: 21:21 (SKAM), Evak - Freeform, Evak Smut, Henrik in Vogue pix, M/M, SKAM, SKAM Fic Week, SKAM Month, Skam Drabble, Skam Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 18:37:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12152460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamz24/pseuds/Jamz24
Summary: FLUFF, FUN, A BIT OF SMUT AND NO MORAL PARABLE AT ALLIn which Even is a rich bitch, Isak is a little snitch, Prince Harry wants to get hitched, and feat. Queen SivInspired by @skambition about #GoodbyeToSkam Sept 21st & @revuenerd on twitter about THOSE Henrik pictures in Vogue





	The Prince And The Pauper (feat. Queen Siv)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skambition](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skambition/gifts).



**The Prince and the Pauper**

**In which Even is a rich bitch, Isak is a little snitch, Prince Harry wants to get hitched and feat. Queen Siv**

 

“Oh God! Why does Prince Harry keep TEXTING me?” Even flounced down the marble stairs dragging his long silk dressing gown after him. “I only went on that stupid yacht trip to Mustique because Kylie Jenner was on at me about it, and we only had ONE kiss, but now he won’t stop messaging me. When will he get the fucking hint?”

The Queen barely glanced up from her phone, her cloudy blonde hair sweeping round her shoulders as she scrolled through her Instagram. “I know, sweetie, but it won’t hurt to keep him onside a little. We’ve got a state trip to London coming up, and it would be nice not to have any awkwardness from Kate and William, don’t you think? The Windsors are weird enough at the best of times.”

“Ugh,” Even threw himself on the velvet divan and flicked through his messages. Invitations flooded through his timeline: Taylor Swift’s birthday party (yawn), invitation to meet Stormzy and Sampha at the Mercury Prize awards (what), a picnic with Kate Moss in New York (nope), an art exhibition with Gilbert & George (who?), and a launch party for Dua Lipa at Warner Bros (maybe). “I don’t know how you can do stuff like that. It’s so boring.”

The Queen raised a slender eyebrow. “Well you’ll have to do state visits and everything in due course when you become King. Where do you think all this money comes from?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care.” Even lay down rebelliously on his back, one long leg swinging irritably over the back of the gilded divan. “But I’m not texting Harry back. It was a huge mistake, I don’t like ginger boys, and that’s the end of it.”

The next moment he blinked in incredulity as a message flashed up on his screen.

_Hi, it’s Isak here, just saying hello before we meet tomorrow. If you want me to bring anything in particular, just let me know. Looking forward to meeting you! Best, Isak._

Even banged the tablet down on his lap and shot upright in fury.

“MAMA!”

But the Queen had already walked out to the parlour where she was sitting fixing herself a huge slab of bread and honey. She licked one finger theatrically as Even burst in and thrust the message under her nose.

“What on earth is _this_ , Mama?”

The Queen smiled sweetly, but behind her baby-blue eyes there was a steely tint. “Oh how lovely. That’s your new study partner, darling. He starts tomorrow.”

“What do you mean, I have a study partner?” whined Even.

The Queen shrugged her elegant shoulders. “Because you never pay attention to your studies. You’re behind in all your subjects, and you’re in danger of flunking all your classes. Your father and I think that having someone to study with might  - focus you a little.”

“What are you talking about?” protested Even. “I get top marks for all my papers!”

His mother laughed. “Do you think we don’t know you pay your tutor to do your homework for you? You’ll never pass your exams at this rate!”

“Why should I have to pass exams?” sulked Even. “I don’t need a job. I don’t need an education if I’m not going to have a job.”

His mother swept his objections aside with a regal wave of her hand. “Times have changed, my dear. The days of lying around soaking up everyone else’s money are long gone. Every young royal has to have a vocation these days, and it could be years before you take the throne.”

“Not if I bump you off first,” Even tossed his head pettishly. “Who even is Isak Valtersen, anyway?”

“Oh, he’s the son of your first nanny,” said his mother airily. “You used to play together when you were only crawling, not that you’d remember that now.”

Even’s eyes nearly fell out of his head. “What, you mean he isn’t even _royal_?”

“No,” his mother shook her head. “He’s not rich – his dad’s just lost his job, and his mum isn’t well, so the family need a bit of money otherwise they’ll be out on the street. So I said he could come up here to study with you.”

“It sounds such a drag,” scoffed Even. “A paid companion from my old nanny. It’s positively Victorian. How much of a loser is he going to be?”

“Well, we’ll give it a trial run,” said his mother, licking the last of the honey off her thumb. “At the very least it will do you good to actually mix with real people for once.”

Even was so horrorstruck that he stood dumbly and watched the Queen sashay out of the kitchen blowing him a kiss.

He _was_ a real person. Wasn’t he?

 

Later that day Even’s friend Hussein, the Crown Prince of Dubai, picked him up by helicopter for a flight to Paris to watch Ariana Grande perform live at the Palais Garnier but Even was so mad that he couldn’t even enjoy it. He was still fuming.

Isak Valtersen? The son of his old _nanny_? Holy shit, he wasn’t even royal, nor rich, nor even _anyone_ , as far as Even could tell. But now he was meant to spend every hour with him just so he could get through his exams? Not fucking likely.

He picked up his phone and stabbed out a message to Isak.

_Hi Isak, it’s Prince Even XI here, nice to meet you too. Please bring a large golden dildo and some strawberry-flavoured lube to our first anatomy class tomorrow. I’d be interested in finding out more about your capabilities. Best, Even._

 

He was lounging in his private swimming pool watching his private future release copy of Season 2 of Stranger Things – _normal_ people couldn’t see this for months on Netflix, he thought savagely – when he got a text back from Isak.

_Hi Even, sorry I think you’re mistaken, it’s not anatomy class tomorrow. But I could bring a dead cat if you so badly wanted something to dissect? Otherwise I’ll bring the chemistry textbook that we’re supposed to complete by the end of term. Cheers, Isak._

Even practically spat his cocktail all over the marble tiles.

_Bring a dead cat, indeed._

Well whatever else the guy _didn’t_ have going for him, at least he had game.

 

What with one thing and another, Even was kind of looking forward to his first study session with commoner Isak Valtersen, if only for a break from the tedium of Oslo Fashion Week which he’d been given a front row seat to, followed by a string of glittering parties attended by identical wooden models with identical wooden smiles. London Fashion Week was better, he thought, the women were prettier, the men were hotter and the drugs were better, but that wasn’t up for another month or so. He’d also been practicing some pretty stinging put-downs – and part of him was _really_ looking forward to showing this Isak Valtersen _exactly_ who was boss.

But when Isak sauntered in bang on time carrying a large stack of science textbooks, Even felt wrong-footed from the start. To begin with, Isak was good looking – like _really_ good looking with cheekbones as feline as a cat and long-lashed, huge green eyes – but there was also something indefinable about him that Even couldn’t quite put his finger on. He was dressed very casually, in a cheap white shirt and shitty jeans that looked as he’d nicked them from a thrift store, but he just had this _attitude_ about him as if he couldn’t really care about what he wore; as if labels and money and stuff like that really didn’t _matter,_ almost as if nothing mattered apart from his own self.

And Even wasn’t used to people around him _not caring_ who he was.

“Hi! You’re Even!” said Isak with a dazzling smile.

“Hello,” Even said, stunned, and Isak raised an eyebrow at him as if he were no more than an interesting specimen brought to the dissection table. “I must say, you look a lot better with clothes on,” he said sweetly.

Even shook his head in bewilderment. “What?”

Isak pouted at him. “Last time I saw you, you were naked and screaming like a baby. Oh! In fact, you were a baby. Silly me! My mother used to say that you were such a cry-baby. When I left this morning, she said, _If he doesn’t get his own way, he’ll cry and scream, just you wait_.”

Ugh, this wouldn’t do at all. Even pummelled himself mentally _. Wake up, wake up_! He put his hands behind his head and put his feet up, slouching in his chair in his best princely fashion.  

“Well I wouldn’t have recognised you at all. You’re a lot better looking in pictures,” was the best he could come up with, but Isak wasn’t fazed. “Oh, so you’ve been searching me online, have you?”

 _Damn_. Even wrinkled his lip. “No, it’s just that profile picture you have on messenger. You got my hopes up. Happen often, does it?”

“To be honest, it’s a relief,” Isak set down the stack of books on the table with a bang. “I’m sick of fending off guys. Just as well I didn’t need to bring that large golden dildo along then, isn’t it?”

 

Even had never worked as hard as he did during that first study session with Isak. To begin with, he was annoyed – Isak had the upper hand from the start. Even had never seen anything like it. Despite Even’s usual _work-is-for-wankers_ approach, Isak had casually strolled in and reset the rules of the game. Now instead of work being stupid and uncool, Even himself felt stupid and uncool if he didn’t know basic facts about chemistry. It didn’t help that Even generally hated science – he’d had to choose one science subject although most of his stuff was art -  so he knew far less than he should, and Isak didn’t really hide his contempt. It got to the stage where Even was desperately trying to impress Isak, and that was just where Even _didn’t_ want to be.

He’d just managed to get one question right when his phone beeped – damn, he’d forgotten to put it on silent – and a message flashed up clear as day on the screen.

_Hi Even, it’s Prince Harry here. Why are you ghosting me? I thought we had something. Call me, Harry._

Even grabbed at it but Isak had scooped up the phone already and held it out of reach. Even swiped at him wildly but Isak skilfully manoeuvred his chair between them.

“What’s this? Ooh, Prince Harry is it? Bit out of your league, though, wouldn’t you say?”

“Bit out of my league?” Even fired back. “I’m the one that’s out of his league! He’s way too old for me anyway!”

Isak shrugged. “Whatever. You’re in no position to be picky, anyway.” To Even’s fury and horror he typed a quick reply on the phone before tossing it away from him across the room. Even lunged for it, and for a moment his cheek pressed against Isak’s before Isak leaned back, sarky smile on his lips, taunting him with his stare.

“What the fuck did you write?” hissed Even incredulously.

“Oh, just that you’d see him at your birthday party next month,” said Isak, smiling. “Hopefully I’ll be there too. I’ve always wanted to meet a royal.”

“I am royal, fuck you!” Even grabbed up the phone and groaned in horror. “I can’t believe you just texted someone off my phone! You’re fired!”

“Fired? Your mother’s hired me for three months, so I’m unfireable,” said Isak calmly. “But you know, I’m actually having a lot of fun here. Maybe I’ll stay after the three months are over, who knows?”

“Get out!” shrieked Even, catching up an ten-thousand-krone bunch of Juliet roses and flinging them at Isak’s head. “Out!”

“See you tomorrow,” Isak lithely dodged the flying vase, winked at Even, and left.

 

 

Later, lying on top of Aloysius, his huge teddy-bear, for comfort, Even wiped the tears of rage from his eyes from his Armani handkerchief. His phone beeped, and he glanced at it.

_Hi Even, it’s Harry here. I’d love to come to your private party! Really looking forward to it. XXX_

_Fuck_. Even couldn’t put him straight without risking the wrath of his mother – the state visit to the Windsors was still pending and he had sense enough not to fuck that up. _Thanks to Isak_.

 _Isak. That bitch!_ He had never had such a bad afternoon in his life before. He’d been teased, patronised, ignored, bullied, talked down to, and just generally bettered in every way. It wasn’t on, and next time he was going to show Isak Valtersen who was boss.

But first he had to prepare very, very carefully …

 

Next day, Even dressed to impress. He wore a dark navy blue silk suit from Moods of Norway with turn-up collar and white shirt, and spent ages fiddling with his hair in front of the mirror. Swept up? Artistically flopping down? He was still tugging at it when Isak breezed through the door and instantly all his resolutions went to _absolute shit_.

Isak looked incredible. He had ripped, tight summer jeans on with rolled-up bottoms which showed off his ass to perfection, a faded aquamarine T-shirt through which Even could see each of his abs practically in HD, and a pair of simple white sneakers. Next to him Even felt ridiculously overdressed and stuffy. The heavy silk and velvet of the suit felt as if it was practically choking him. Embarrassed, he pulled off his jacket and hung it sulkily on the back of his chair.

“Oh don’t stop there,” Isak rolled his eyes. “Take the shirt and trousers off too while you’re at it. It’s over thirty degrees outside.”

Even shrugged crossly. “Why do you want to see me naked so much?”

“I don’t. I just don’t need you to die of heat-stroke on me right now,” said Isak, calmly opening his copy of Ibsen’s _Hedda Gabler_. “Not until you finish your essay on women’s rights in the nineteenth century or your mum will absolutely kill me.”

 

It didn’t stop there. Isak teased Even so mercilessly about his lack of history knowledge when Even thought that Queen Victoria and Queen Christina were the same person, that Even was left almost in tears of embarrassment and rage. In revenge, Even did a vicious impression of Isak mincing along that had Isak crying with laughter and Even red faced with fury.

Next study session Even balanced a bucket of water above the study room door so when Isak walked in, it upended and drenched him. It all came back on Even, though, he had to sit through the entire lesson looking at Isak in a sodden shirt that was absolutely sculpted to his body in every conceivable place.

The day after, when Isak left, Even was attacked by a rotting fish smell that followed him wherever he went, the source of which both eluded and infuriated him.

Finally he discovered a decaying sardine in his expensive suit pocket with a little note that said, _Are you bored yet?_

Even threw the whole suit in the bin and scowled.

_Fucking Isak Valtersen._

 

Even had never looked forward to his birthday party less, and it was just as well that he had a PA arranging it all for him otherwise none of the invitations would even have been sent out. Prince Hussein got worried about Even’s listless attitude and invited him to a game of polo in Monaco that weekend. Hussein was good at polo but Even was terrible, so he had to spend the first couple of _chukkas_ watching the Dubai prince galloping up and down striking skilfully at the ball while Even pranced along pitifully behind him, trying unsuccessfully to control his pony. 

“He’s just so _annoying_ , and he’s around _all the time_ ,” whined Even as he wheeled his palomino around abreast of Hussein as they charged up the field.

“Can’t you pay him to leave you alone?” chuckled Hussein, swinging his mallet to send the ball winging up the green again.

“Mama’s got him checking that I don’t drink too much, I’m sure,” complained Even. “And it doesn’t help that he’s really hot, either.”

“Hot and annoying? That sounds like your type. Remember Princess Vivian?” grinned Hussein, spurring his black stallion on with a practiced hand. “Don’t tell me that the great Even XII is being beaten at the bitching game?”

“I’ve got a plan,” protested Even, cantering lamely after him. “Can I borrow your speedboat on Monday? It’s only for a few days, I promise.”

Hussein raised an eyebrow. “You’d better not trash it, crash it or have sex in it. Baba cut off my allowance for a whole day when I totalled his Lamborghini.”

“I’m not going to crash it, sink it, or have sex in it,” groaned Even. “Please, pretty please with sugar on top.”

“Oh go on then,” Hussein swept a shock of black hair out of his eyes and sent the polo ball soaring gracefully between the goalposts. “But judging by the way you keep going on about this guy, it’s my prediction that you’re going to end up laying him before the three months is out.”

 

Even hadn’t driven the speedboat without Hussein before, so when the Prince tossed him the keys early on Monday morning he felt more than a little nervous. He’d boated with friends from time to time, but he was pretty unskilled in seacraft so he bumped his way through the waves of Oslofjord zig-zagging from side to side erratically, while the other ocean-bound craft sounded their five horns at him reprovingly as he passed on their left.

“Oh fuck off!” shouted Even, waving crossly at them as he skimmed past their bows, forcing the other boats to stand down or crash in to him. “I’m on a mission!”

He pulled out his phone and texted Isak.

_Hey Isak, it’s Prince Even XII here, I thought we’d have our next study session out on one of the islands. I’ll pick you up on my speedboat around ten? Best, Even_

 

Isak was standing on the private jetty looking slightly guarded when Even pulled up in a shower of spray, having mastered a few more moves in the meantime. Isak was wearing a threadbare yellow T-shirt and washed-out purple denim shorts, but Even couldn’t take his eyes off his tanned legs for what seemed like ages. He was secretly very pleased to see Isak looking at him with what seemed like new respect as he stepped onto the gleaming yacht.

“Why are we going out? Which island are we going to?” asked Isak, puzzled.

Even raised his eyebrows a few times and flashed him one of his charming smiles. “Wait and see.”

They sped past diminutive Bleikøya with its tiny wooden cabins, Lindøya, Nakholmen and Hovedøya with its ancient ruins of a monastery built by travelling English monks from Lincolnshire. Isak screwed up his eyes against the blue as they skimmed past the last of the islands and headed towards the open ocean. “What is that? That island there?”

“Holvita. It’s my island,” said Even proudly, “or at least it’s Mama’s, Papa gave it to her when they married, and she’s going to give it to me when I’m married.”

“Well that’ll be some compensation for your bride, won’t it,” muttered Isak. “At least there’ll be somewhere for her to escape to.”

“Or my groom,” Even snarked back. “Enough of your straight privilege, thank you.”

Isak was looking at the horizon in wonder.  “But I don’t understand. This island isn’t marked on any map that I know.”

“It’s not marked on the map so tourists can’t visit,” explained Even wearily. “Look, over there’s the landing strip, and that’s the summer cabin.”

He secretly hugged himself at Isak’s expression as he took in the beach, the little white-painted house and the forest around it. Roses ran riot in Holvita and their perfume filled the air as Even scraped the powerboat against the jetty and tied it up awkwardly. He stepped aground and held out his hand for Isak to disembark.

“Welcome to Holvita,” he said in a mock courtly fashion, and Isak glanced at him oddly as he placed his smaller fingers in Even’s palm. “It’s beautiful here,” he said quietly, but his eyes were on Even’s face.

“I’ve brought a picnic too.” Even dropped Isak’s hand hurriedly and ducked into the small cabin. “Shrimps and smoked mackerel and champagne.”

“Wow,” Isak shot him a sharp look. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were trying to seduce me.”

"No chance of that," said Even, with a heartiness he didn't actually feel.

They sat on the grass and ate with the huge arc of the ocean around them as a view. After they finished, Even spread the mathematics textbooks in front of them, but surprisingly Isak kicked them away. “Oh forget it.”

Even looked at him, taken aback. “You don’t want to study?”

Isak shrugged and lay down, stretching his arms out. “I don’t want to do anything right now. It’s too beautiful to work.”

“I thought you were a workaholic,” said Even, surprised. “You always go so hard in studying.”

“Ugh,” murmured Isak. “My dad always brought me up to work hard, all the time, but sometimes I just wanna chill and watch Narcos, you know what I mean?”

Even didn’t – he’d never worked hard at anything in his life – if he wanted to watch Narcos, he just watched it, as much and as often as he liked. “But all this hard work means you’ll probably be some big success in the future, no?”

“I dunno,” said Isak, and Even thought his voice sounded small and sad. “Just because you work hard for something doesn’t mean you’ll get it.”

“Oh,” said Even, slightly nonplussed. “But you like it, no?”

“Working hard doesn’t mean you’ll be happy though,” said Isak in a muffled tone, and to Even it sounded like he was falling asleep.

“Do you want to be happy?” asked Even, but all he got in response was a gentle snore.

 

Even hadn’t meant to fall asleep either, but a combination of the early start and the two bottles of champagne they’d downed sent him out like a light. He woke a few hours later with a start. _What the fuck time was it?_

Next to him Isak was lying on his back, drowsing, his white tee snagged up over his stomach so Even could see his belly rising and falling. His arms were spread wide, open and embraced by the sun; his tanned skin was covered with downy hair, and Even had a huge impulse to lean forward and brush his cheek against it. He wondered what Isak’s skin would smell like – like the big sky, maybe, or the wild woods – and –

 _You’ll end up laying him within a week_ \- Hussein’s words rang in his ears suddenly and he pulled back. No! Stop this! It was now or never.

He rose somewhat unsteadily to his feet, tiptoed down to the speedboat and clambered aboard in an ungainly fashion. The key, when he managed to locate it, didn’t turn properly, but finally it caught in a guttural roar and the whole boat shot backwards; Even had left it in gear. When he pulled himself to his feet and got control of the wheel again, he could see Isak, rumpled with the shock of a sudden awakening, sitting bolt upright on the beach.

“See you later!” Even waved gaily at him as he cruised past. “There’s a week’s store of food in the fridge, and there’s a load of books in the cabin. I’ll send you someone to pick you up in a week, but in the meantime I’m going to enjoy myself – and my birthday – by myself thank you very much!”

“Wait! What the fuck? Come back!”

Isak’s furious shouts rang in Even’s ears as he picked up speed, but something seemed to be very wrong. The boat seemed waterlogged and heavy, and wasn’t responding to the throttle. And there was something odd and wet around his feet. Even looked down and let out a scream of horror as he saw water rising up through the bottom of the speedboat and lapping at his ankles.

“Help! Isak!” he shouted, and was rewarded by a red-faced Isak cresting the top of the bank to look down to where Even and the boat lay foundering in the shallows. “I’m sinking!”

Isak folded his arms. “Sink, then. You were seriously going to leave me here for a whole week?”

“No, only for a few hours!” lied Even. “I was just trying to play a trick on you. Oh shit!” He leapt in the air in horror. “The water’s rising! Help!”

Water was gushing through thick and fast, and when Even looked down, the water was almost knee-high. The boat began to list to port and Even slipped, pulling himself up at the wheel, in mortal fear that the boat would go down and he with it.

“Are you seriously going to let me sink? I can’t swim, you idiot!”

Isak rolled his eyes, pulled off his T-shirt and shorts and took a header into the sea. In a few swift strokes he was at the boat and hauling himself aboard, wet rivulets coursing down his tanned chest, his white underwear soaked and practically transparent. It was all Even could do to focus his attention on the emergency in hand.

“Look! There’s water coming in! We’re going to sink!”

“Have you pulled the bilge plug out?” asked Isak, and Even was so dizzy from Isak being next to him, wet and practically naked in his see-through pants that he couldn’t at first understand what Isak meant. “The bilge plug!” shouted Isak. “The plug that lets the overflow water out?”

“Oh that’s what it’s for?” Even lurched down and picked up an object from the waterlogged floor. “Is this it?”

“Yes!” cried Isak, but at that moment the water surging up from below reached critical mass and the boat dived beneath them. Even was plunged into a wave of spray, and he was only dimly aware of Isak grasping him from behind, smaller though he was, and pulling him up. Even clung to him, panicked, his long legs flailing in all directions. “Don’t drop me! Don’t let me drown!”

“Fuckwit, I’m not going to let you drown,” muttered Isak thickly in his ear. “I’m a very good swimmer, but first you have to apologise.”

“Apologise?” squeaked Even, his eyes and nose now full of water. “Apologise for what?”

Isak squeezed him tighter. “For being a total asshole. For being a rich, superior, posh bitch who never thinks about anything but himself. For being someone who was willing to abandon me on an island all by myself!”

Even gasped, spitting out mouthfuls of water. “I’m sorry! Sorry for all that!”

“Say it!” Isak shook him, choking him slightly, and Even wished it didn’t give him the erection it did. “I’m sorry for being a superior posh bitch! I’m sorry!”

“What was that?” snapped Isak and Even thrashed against him. “I’m sorry! But I was going to come back and get you after my birthday. I was, I was – please, please!”

Isak released him abruptly, and Even fell to his knees in no more than a metre of water, scrabbling to hide his excitement from Isak with his T-shirt. For a moment he felt consumed with shame - and ridiculously horny.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe,” said Isak with a sneer. “But can I just say, you’ve got a hell of a lot of making up to do.”

“I’m sorry, I really am,” said Even, sneezing and coughing. “Let me call someone, otherwise we’ll be stuck out here for a week.”

“Where’s your phone?” asked Isak, but Even patted through all his pockets and couldn’t find it. It must have sunk when the boat went down. Isak’s iPhone was no better – his battery had given out and they had no charger.

“Oh well,” Isak flashed him a malicious glare. “Hope there’s enough food in the kitchen for two. Bet we’ll get through a lot of studying this next week.”

 

“You seriously weren’t kidding that there wasn’t any electricity on the island,” said Isak a while later. “I mean there’s no electricity, no wifi, no nothing.”

“Mama likes it that way,” said Even. “It’s the back to nature thing.”          

Night had fallen, and they were lying on their backs looking up at the huge starry sweep of sky above them. There was no glow of city lights – they were well over the horizon – and it felt as if they were on the end of the world somewhere. Isak had built a fire, and its embers were warming their toes. Even had toasted lumps of cheese over pieces of singed bread, and they’d found another bottle of champagne, so what the hell.

Isak shrugged. “I just feel … nervous when I don’t have anything to do.”

Even sighed. It was probably the longest he’d ever gone without checking his mentions but for some reason he didn’t care at all. “Well, I have so much stuff to do, so many invitations to do things, but I’m just so bored all the time, you know? I had everything back home, but nothing interested me.” _Except you_ , he wanted to say _, you’re the first thing that interested me, challenged me, surprised me,_ but the look in Isak’s green eyes still reproached him. They were both a little bit drunk, and a little bit thrown at the prospect of an entire week abandoned on the island – but Even couldn’t lie, the thought was making him really quite excited at the moment.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” said Even suddenly. “To be a prince. To have money and presents and invitations thrown at you all the time.”

 “You don’t know what it’s like,” said Isak sarcastically. “To be a real person, with bills and debts and problems all the time.”

Even felt sad. “I didn’t mean that. I mean you don’t have much touch with reality when you have so much money,” he said, remembering the conversation with his mother. “I’m not proud of it. It’s just – I don’t know anything else.”

“Yeah, well don’t ever wish to be poor,” said Isak staring into the flames. “Poor sucks.”

“I wish money didn’t exist,” said Even, and for a moment he meant it, before Isak laughed bitterly. “It’s the way the world works, though. If you don’t have money, you have to find a way to succeed. If you’re not born a rich bitch like you.”

“I’m not a rich bitch,” said Even, smiling at him. It really was cute, the way that Isak frowned when he was upset. “At least, not anymore.”

“Maybe I don’t think people will like me if I don't succeed,” said Isak suddenly.

“I like you,” said Even softly, and he meant it. “I like you just the way you are.”

 

Even had never held anyone like this before, never been held by anyone like this before, never wanted to hold anyone else like this ever again. Isak was beneath him, above him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, legs around his waist, mouth pressed into his hair, his soft moans driving Even absolutely wild. He couldn’t seem to get enough of him; Isak ranged from baby-soft to badboy-hard, he was innocent, he was demanding, he was shy, he was slutty. He knew moves that Even hadn’t even guessed at; other times he seemed tender and endearing as if it was his first time. Even never knew what he was getting, and every time it seemed entrancing and new.

Even let his mouth roam over Isak’s body, sampling every inch of him, every taste of him, every muscle, hair and angle. Isak mewed like a kitten as he explored every part of him, then gasped like a whore as he turned on Even and gave back as good as he got.

He was everything that Even had ever dreamed of.

“Fuck, do that again,” he muttered down at Isak’s head, busy between his thighs. “Please baby. Do that thing again –“

He threw his head back and moaned as Isak did the thing again.

“Oh God, baby, please let me, please let me fuck you, please…”

“Did you happen to leave some condoms and lube in the kitchen too?” breathed Isak, and Even groaned.

“Well no, I wasn’t expecting you to get jiggy with yourself all alone for a week.”

“You disappoint me,” whispered Isak, sitting up and straddling him. “You’re just going to have to get me extra soft and wet then, aren’t you?”

 

“God, there’s nothing to do in this cabin!” groaned Isak two days later. “Nothing at all to do!”

“You can do me again if you want,” offered Even, but Isak only grinned and swatted at him. They had spent almost two straight days in bed with each other – okay, in bed, in the bath, in the shower, on the beach until Isak complained that the sand on Even’s cock was scratching him – in the forest, until Even complained that the bugs were biting his ass. They had sex in the sea against the rocks, letting the tide surge them against the rocks at the southernmost shore and push them into each other. Which was fun until a particularly large wave bowled them over just as they were hitting their high point, sending them flying in different directions, and this time it was Even who had to grab Isak from being swept out to sea with the undertow.

Even shivered in that way he felt when Isak’s green eyes were running over him, but his lover was looking serious. “Well, we do have all that studying to do, I suppose. We haven’t gotten through Norwegian grammar yet, we’re supposed to do that before the end of this week.”

Even’s heart sank slightly. “Well, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind.”

“I was thinking, a grammar test?” asked Isak, and Even groaned. “What, seriously?”

Isak wriggled closer, held his cock and squeezed him gently.

“Well how about this. I’ll go through the grammar exercises to test you. Every time you get something right, I’ll give you a couple of sucks. And every time you get something wrong, I’ll give you a couple of spanks. Is that a deal?”

It was possibly the best deal that Even could have ever wanted.

 

On Sunday afternoon, they spied a small black spot descending from the blue heavens. It got closer and closer until they heard it roaring overhead and ran to the north beach to discover what it was. Prince Hussein’s personal helicopter hovered gracefully like a dragonfly over the beach, sand whisking in all directions, before perching itself precisely on the small jetty. Slowly its propellers slowed, the sandstorm died, and Even and Isak pulled their hands away from their eyes.

“What the fuck?” asked Hussein. “What happened to my speedboat?”

“Even forgot to replace the bilge plug,” explained Isak and they both dissolved in laughter.

Hussein was looking at them sharply. “So this is the guy that you were telling me about, Even? The guy you didn’t get on with? The guy that you wanted to abandon on an island, but ended up abandoning yourself as well?”

Even smiled and put his arm around Isak’s waist. “Turns out we had a lot in common after all.”

“Well good for you,” said Hussein, grumpily. “But there’ll be hell to pay when Baba finds out about the speedboat. Now get in, your birthday’s just starting. If we step on it now, you’ll be able to make your grand entrance while your guests are still there.”

 

Evening was falling, and the castle was ablaze with lights when they approached, descending in a buzzing spiral to the landing pad.

Guests in silk, velvet and lace swarmed out and approached him – Even dimly recognised Cara Delevingne, Harry Styles and Pink, as well as a huge crowd of boring but important politicians and lesser royalty – but right now he had eyes only for Isak; sun-kissed Isak hanging on his arm, dressed in dusty, sand-stained clothes, hair still stiff and salty from the sea, laughing like a child with the ocean in his eyes.

Even could stand _all day_ looking at him like that.

“Darling Even! I’m here!” A posh English voice broke in over the chatter. “I thought this was going to be a private party! Want to come back to London with me?”

Even’s face drained of colour. _Oh shit_. Prince Harry. For the past week he’d forgotten all about him. Now here was Harry, large as life, dressed in a tux and holding a huge bouquet of Xanthos lilies which must have cost a cool fifteen thousand pounds.

“Oh hi, _Harry,_ ” said Isak, stepping in front of Even and pulling Even’s arms around him like a cloak. “Let me introduce myself. I’m Isak Valtersen, and this is my boyfriend Even Bech Naesheim.”

“Oh,” said Harry, somewhat puzzled. “He invited me to his party.”

“Well I’m afraid I have bad news for you,” said Isak with a triumphant pout. “He’s taken.”

And with that he turned Even around and kissed him.

“Damn,” said Even as their lips parted. “I really don’t wanna be here.”

Isak tilted his chin up at him coquettishly and smiled. “Me neither. You want to bail?”

Even nodded. “Fuck this shit! I think I want to go back to the island.”

“Me too,” giggled back Isak, but the Queen was approaching them suddenly, and Even suddenly realised that he was still holding hands with Isak, and laughing together like newlyweds.

“Happy birthday, darling,” said the Queen, kissing him on the forehead and shooting Isak a sweet smile as she rumpled his hair. “So glad your study sessions are going so well. I knew you’d end up getting along together. I just knew it.”


End file.
